As a hospice social worker and death doula, my journey through the complex emotions surrounding death has shaped my understanding of life in profound ways. The experiences I’ve gained over more than three decades of working with individuals nearing the end of their lives have imparted invaluable lessons that I often refer to as “deathbed wisdom”. These insights not only influence my personal life but also profoundly affect how I engage with political discourse and voting.
Throughout my career, I have served a diverse clientele across various races, religions, and socioeconomic backgrounds. It was nearly three decades ago, after graduating with a Master of Social Work from the University of Southern California, that I began this eye-opening journey. I was young, just 32, and my age often prompted dying individuals to share their thoughts and emotions regarding the lives they had led and the choices they had made. This interplay of life and death became a significant educational experience—one that transformed my perspective on what is essential in our shared human experience.
In the quiet moments of reflection, many of my clients expressed regrets that revolve around fundamental themes—caring for loved ones, prioritizing meaningful relationships, and the pursuit of genuine fulfillment rather than material wealth. These candid confessions presented a mosaic of shared human experience, one that spanned vast differences yet illuminated significant similarities.
Many lamented the relentless pursuit of career advancement and financial accumulation, often at the expense of personal relationships and self-care. It’s striking how frequently the dying voiced sorrow over the time they hadn’t spent with family or friends, as life’s responsibilities overshadowed their emotional well-being. They conveyed a poignant message: wealth and success are hollow without the warmth of connection and caring. It became clear that America’s entrenched culture of meritocracy often leaves behind those who are unable to navigate the societal pressures that prioritize profit over people.
Moreover, a dismaying number of individuals wished they had taken their health more seriously, emphasizing the connection between physical well-being and timely healthcare access. Many regretted delaying doctor visits due to financial constraints, a stark reminder of the socioeconomic disparities that hover over our healthcare system. These insights left an indelible mark on me, creating a reservoir of knowledge that I feel compelled to share in this current political climate.
As we approach another pivotal election season, the lessons learned from those facing the end of their lives serve as a unique guide for assessing political candidates and their platforms. When I engage with the electoral landscape, I now filter my reflections through the voices of those who are no longer able to speak for themselves.
In the context of current political issues, I consider critical questions that intersect with the profound regrets of my clients. How do candidates prioritize essential human needs such as food, housing, education, and healthcare? Do they truly value their constituents’ welfare, or are they more focused on retaining power and privilege? Are they tackling the exorbitant costs of healthcare that prevent individuals from seeking necessary treatment, or are they merely offering rhetoric that lacks actionable steps?
Additionally, the issue of employee welfare resonates deeply at the polls. Are candidates advocating for policies that allow businesses to support their workers adequately? Proposals for better wages, more vacation time, and comprehensive family leave are all paramount to fostering a human-centered approach to governance.
The essence of my “deathbed wisdom” voter guide is not merely to reflect on past mistakes but to leverage those insights for improved future governance. As the electorate, we have the power to choose representatives who embody compassion, commitment, and a desire to nurture a humane society.
In November, as you prepare to cast your ballot, consider the type of society you wish to cultivate. The votes we make represent our shared values and ideals about what it means to live in a just nation. Let’s honor the lives of those who shared their regrets and influence positive change in pursuit of a compassionate society that endeavors to meet everyone’s basic human needs.
Ultimately, it is about more than just candidates; it is about the legacy we wish to build and the values we aim to uphold. Don’t join the ranks of the regrets—it’s time to make choices that reflect a meaningful vision for our future.
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